A Motherless Daughter...

Mom died very early Sunday morning. We all knew it was coming, but that doesn't change how heartbreaking it is. Even now, two days later, I know she is gone, but there's a part of me that thinks I'm going up to see her this weekend and have a laugh or two...

Last December I bought a book after a sister in my ward recommended it to me called "Motherless Daughters: A Legacy of Loss" by Hope Edelman. I had thought I would read it to prepare myself for her death but I kept putting it off, and putting it off. I pulled it off the shelf today and devoured it in a couple of hours. I'm glad I waited. I have been handed a great deal of understanding.

While the gospel provides a comfort and peace regarding all the eternal and spiritual matters, there's still that gaping void I know I will spend the rest of my life trying to adjust to. It's something I've thought about over the last several years, of what I would be missing down the road, but I could never put into words what it was that I would really be needing. Hope said it beautifully:

"Regardless of our age, we yearn for a mother's love throughout our lives, reaching for the security and comfort we believe only she can provide at times of illness, transition, or stress."

"Our mothers are our most direct connection to our history and our gender. Regardless of how well we think they did their job, the void their absence creates in our lives is never completely filled again."

Here, though, is the one thing that hit home for me the most:

" In the redwood ecosystem, buds for futures trees are contained in pods called burls, tough brown knobs that cling to the bark of the mother tree. When the mother tree is logged, blown over, or destroyed by fire- when, in other words, she dies -the trauma stimulates the burls' growth hormones. The seeds release, and trees sprout around her, creating the circle of daughters. The daughter trees grow by absorbing the sunlight their mother cedes them when she dies. They receive the moisture and nutrients they need from their mother's root system, which remains intact underground even after her leaves die. Although the daughters exist independently of their mother above ground, they continue to draw sustenance from her underneath."


My Mom was a wonderful teacher. Someone who has taught me my most important life lessons. She taught by making me self sufficient. She taught by being the best example she knew how to be. I've always known that when she passed, I would still have that foundation to draw from.

But the fact remains, I will still miss my mother....

New name for Daddy

It's finally happened. Aviendha learned Daddy is also called Nick. So she's been calling him that for two days. The only problem with this (aside from the obvious) is that she hasn't quite got the 'n' down so she calls him Dick. Yeah. We laugh too.

My Little Cutie Pie!

So I know it's been a while since I've put up a visual update of Aviendha. We've had some rough days in the last few months with new allergies cropping up (another appointment to get some of them taken care of on Monday! YAY!!!) The good news is since we took care of her allergy to wheat her hair has been growing faster! Unfortunately she still has a lot to catch up on in that department... Her language is also catching up at a fairly rapid rate now that she's feeling better. In the video you'll see how much she loves to talk on the phone. She had talked to Sariah recently so she's always asking about her. Her dancing at the end is pretty low key compared to what she normally does. Her default dance is jumping but at the end she's trying to do some break-dance type moves with her arms. She thinks she's pretty dang hilarious in this one! Oh, and yes, those are her pajamas...

I'll work on getting more video and pictures up now that things are calming down.

Allergy Update

Well, things are just as awesome as ever! I still haven't had to use any allergy meds. I love that I can go outside and take a deep breath without wanting to curl up and die. We've narrowed Aviendha's new reactions down to oranges, a spice or two, and possibly an oil. Luckily those have been far easier to avoid as opposed to wheat and dairy. She has gained a lot more energy and her language has picked up. We are heading up to stay with Nick's family this weekend so we'll see how the cat treatment worked... Unfortunately we haven't made it back to Richland to start me on foods but we have another day set up in a week and a half for 3 or 4 treatments.

I saw that in my last post about NAET that the link wasn't really highlighted so for those of you who may not have found it here it is: About NAET