Speed Racer Review

So I don't know if anyone else has seen the new Speed Racer movie that is now out to rent. If you did and saw it in the theater, I am soooo sorry! There was nothing about the previews that made me even want to rent this movie but if anyone knows my Husband, you know he has to see a movie, even if the entire world agrees that it stinks, just so he can stop thinking about how cool it MIGHT be.

"So how was it?" you ask? Fast, yet at the same time, agonizingly sloooooow. The races were ok to watch because it finally felt like there was something TO watch. There are only a few minutes in a movie of just over 2 hours where there isn't something flashing by or moving quickly on the screen. To get an idea of just what it was like watching this movie, here are some of the comments made in order from beginning to end:

Gailyn: "Ugh! What the heck is going on?!"

Nick: "I don't know, I think they're trying to tell the background story...."

Nick: "Wow, these are some....pretty....bright....colors. I can hardly tell what's what"

Gailyn: "Yeah, I'm having trouble focusing..."

Gailyn: "Dangit, why don't they just hold the freaking camera still?!?!"

Nick: "The colors are so jarring, it's destroyed my suspention of disbelief!"

Gailyn: "Really? Because the whole idea of the movie pretty much did it for me."

(it pretty much continues like this for awhile about color, camera movement, scenes flashing by, and exactly when Nick's suspention of disbelief is turned on and off. We'll skip ahead to the end!)

Nick: "The dialogue is a little on the corny side."

Gailyn: "Wow, this end race is really long..."

Nick: "I was just thinking the same thing, all the color is kind of getting to me. I saw a review describing this as a visual orgy...."

Gailyn: "I think I'd describe it more as visual vomit."

Nick: "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me."

Gailyn: "I'm feeling a little disoriented...."

Nick: "I definitely wouldn't have any epileptics watch this! Think about the kind of dreams we're going to have tonight while our brains try to reset themselves!!!"

While this wasn't all, those were pretty much some of the highlights. And it WAS really disorienting. We had to sit for a minute and pull our brains back together after it was over. Mine felt like a puddle outside of my head! Amazingly enough, I didn't have one dream about it that night, but I attribute that to the fact that my brain was in "purge" mode. Other than the visual stuff and corniness, it was a pretty clean movie. A clean movie you couldn't pay me to watch again!

I'm including this preview so you can get an idea. The colors aren't as bright but the pace of the preview is just about what you get in the movie minus a few parts here and there!